Sweden is so cool that I'm never coming back

Have I mentioned yet that I'm in Sweden?

This week in between doing math and living with really rude people I went and saw some ice. It was so cool because we just don't have that kind of thing in Springfield.

Springfield is kind of a cool place, but actually it sucks and I hate it. That's why I've decided I'm going to stay here forever and become a Swedish lesbian and live in an igloo.

I also hate doing math all the time so I'm changing my major to classics. That way I can study cool things that didn't actually happen instead of boring things that govern the structure of our universe.

So I'll probably never see you again. Whatever. It's fine. You can come visit I guess.

-Mada

Nick - Kick It!

I'm gonna level with you guys: sometimes classes are boring. When this happens, typically I draw animals or inanimate objects in my notebook and then let them rap for eight lines. Here are a few.

I slither around and I hide in the grass

Pick a fight with me and I'll kick your ass

I've got a riotous rattle and sparkling scales

When I unhinge my jaw I can swallow a whale

There's no use in screaming or trying to run

I don't have ears and I can taste you with my tongue

So if you see me as I'm snakin' along through a ditch

Get the fuck out before I make you my bitch

Our coolness is unparalleled, frigidity unmatched

But when confronted by the sun we melt pretty fast

We hold our advantage just as long as we remain

Callous and cold in our icy domain

We've never lost a snowball fight, never felt fear

Yeah we run the show around here

But if ever any sunniness or passion is felt

We weep, we splinter, we lose it, we melt.

Y'all listen up while I spin you a yarn

About the glory of the PK BARN

Other houses try but they just can't compete

You pick a fight wit' us, an' you gonna get BEAT

If you're comin' over best be bringin' a keg

For all our stellar studs and all our hot babes

And if things get wild we might be runnin' a piece

We're the best damn team that you ever will meet

Yo I'm professor Barrett and I'll fuck your shit up

My pace is a crawl, my transitions abrupt 

I'm fightin' for my homies in the middle class

Call me a commie and I'll kick your ass

But don't you go claimin' that you know this nation

History is subject to interpretation!

So I'mma lecture up here, tell you all how I feel

Give you all the scoop on my New Deal