Most Likely to be Late

Ever since I was a child I have been really shitty at getting to where I need to be when I need to be there. Also I have had a problem with turning in assignments on time. In short, I'm going to be fucked over when real life starts.

I was late to Owen Marsh (reppin!) Elementary about two days out of five in a week. Why? Because it didn't matter; that's why. It was fucking elementary school and I even skipped Kindergarten. I had the brains so I didn't need the, well, anything else. I lived two minutes away from Owen Marsh and still fondly remember hearing "Writer's Almanac" on the radio, an NPR show that comes on sharply at 9 (the same time school started).

At Franklin my only issue was missing the bus all the damn time. I missed the bus a lot. My dad would take me to school. Usually wouldn't be late, but still.

Then high school came. In my face. I racked up countless tardies and served tons of meaningless detentions for no reason. I hated detention. What the hell was the point of that? Sit around in a room for fifteen minutes and do what, feel bad? I never learned a SINGLE thing from detention and never changed my ways. Fuck that shit. Anyway, I signed up for Newspaper my junior year and was super excited to do some journalistic writing (that sounds lame but fuck off) . When I got in the swing of things, I quickly realized something. I was pathetically horrible at turning my articles in on time. I can write them in no time but I just wouldn't get my shit together ever. I was horrible at it.

That fact is sure to be the source of my doom as a journalism major. OH WELL!

So there's this problem I currently have at home: I don't have a working computer. I have yet to purchase my college laptop and our one house computer is waiting on a repair. I didn't get my shit together last Wednesday, plain and simple. I'm sorry everyone. I really didn't mean to fuck up. But what can I say, I did. The hole in Classic Brian's daily regiment caused by my gaff makes me sick to my stomach. I was an advocate of this whole idea and now I've disappointed all (three) of my faithful readers.

I felt obligated to put something out there, maybe the next day. Just to give you some food for thought, a line of advice, but it just wouldn't be right. I fucked up, so I don't get to tell you anything. Well I am confirming here and now that I have learned from my mistakes. But not confirming that I will do anything about it. I'm just a late person. I miss my deadlines, I'm late to tell you when my graduation party is. I assume it will never take more than ten minutes to drive anywhere. I see good movies way after they come out and I realize I'm doing/saying dumb shit after the deed is already done. Be glad that you don't have to live your life that way.

--Eliot Sill

PS. I felt worse about this before two other people did the same thing. Go team.