Nick - I Can Overthink Anything

We've all heard the question, I'm sure.

"If you could have any superpower, what would it be?"

The answer, for me anyway, has always been,

"Oh, that's a tough question. Let me think about it a little bit. It would be kind of nice to fly(?)"

But I'm an idiot, and if I could fly somebody would probably dissect me or shoot me down out of a controlled airspace or I would choke on a bird and die. Let's give this question a little more thought, shall we?

The most common answers to the superhero question are often the ones that bring some kind of awesome factor. Things like invisibility, flight, teleportation, and the like. But what we often fail to realize is that, while those things sound really cool to have, they almost certainly wouldn't be worth it.

It's easy to say that you want to be able to fly, but you would inevitably die a tragic death, or at very least be thought of by your friends and society as somewhat of a freak. Being able to turn invisible would make you extremely suspicious to those around you; who wants to be friends with the world's best spy? It would only be a matter of time before everyone you know stopped liking you after you scare the pants off of them a couple of times. Super strength would result in being some kind of biological marvel, and, like most other classic superpowers, would probably lead to your dissection, plus you would also get banned from playing sports.

The problem with all of these powers is that they come with a huge lifestyle change. You can't live the same once you can turn invisible or teleport or whatever. The best kind of superpower would be one that can maximize the return you get from your current lifestyle. Allow me to suggest a few:

Almost being able to see into the future:
Imagine that you're out with your friends very late even though you have work in the morning. One of your friends asks if you plan on going home or if you want to stay and go to Denny's with them. You decide to accompany them, and suddenly you have a vision of yourself at work the next day getting fired because you came to work so sleep deprived. Simply let your friends know you changed your mind and go home. Bam! Problem solved. The ability to foresee bad events and how to change them without the hassle of an overwhelming amount of knowledge of the future.

Being abnormally charismatic:
Imagine a world where everyone likes you, immediately. The cute girl in your group of friends, the professor in that one class you aren't very good at, that one guy who is super cool and throws a lot of fun parties. But I don't mean that they like you in a weird, uncomfortable way where you get way too much attention all the time. I just mean that they think of you favorably, and will probably continue to do so even if you are late to your date or forget you were supposed to return their Jude CD.

The ability to articulate everything perfectly:
Never having to search for the right word or think about how to phrase something would be an awesome power. Everything would come out just as clearly as you were thinking it in your head. The ability to make people understand exactly what you mean, and looking smart and smooth in the process.

Immunity from physical uncomfortableness:
I hate that feeling where you're getting over a cold but there's still that thing in the back of your throat that makes eating unpleasant. The few moments of sheer agony when you hit your head while getting out of your car. The mosquito bite that's really bothering you. Imagine all of the stuff you would simply rather not feel. While total immunity to pain would undoubtedly come to stab you in the back, there's nothing wrong with ridding yourself of discomfort.

I encourage all of you to think of some awesome and unusual superpowers of your own. Think about the stuff you would use often that wouldn't make your life more difficult: while it seems like it would be fun to read minds, it would actually be way cooler and more convenient to just be super charismatic. There are a lot of other interesting ideas that I haven't thought of yet, I'm sure. Though you'll be hard-pressed to top my hypothetical powers; I have the ability to overthink absolutely anything.

-Nick.