Conor - Meeting people

I'm not very good at meeting people. I haven't had to do it in such a pure form in a long time. I actually have no memory of a situation like the one I'm facing right now, probably because this is a first. I know no one in the state of Oklahoma. Okay, okay, I know Andrew Hutchinson, but what do I know about him? I know he seems a little dull. BUT NICE. (And to our left, ladies and gentlemen, you can see the technique Conor uses to feel okay about himself after saying something mean. It's clearly designated by his use of caps.) HE SEEMS REALLY NICE. But he stabbed a kid once?! I don't know. I PROMISE NOT TO TELL PEOPLE IN OKLAHOMA THAT, ANDREW HUTCHINSON. HERE YOU CAN START ANEW.

Other than Hutch, I know no one. I have no wingman. My roommate has been busy slash indoors most of the past two days, so I have no guaranteed friend or companion. I don't know how to be myself without the people I am myself around. I think in a way you guys played a much more significant part in who I truly am than I thought. I'm doing such a shitty job of meeting people because I don't know who I'm talking to. Being around my friends gives me a context. At lollapalooza I befriended several people quite easily, because I was aware of at least some of the people around me. Let's say I had talked to Harry and Hannah and made a fool of myself. It wouldn't have mattered. Sure, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to get to know them, but I would have turned around and talked to Brian.

That luxury exists no more. That's so much bigger than I thought it would be.

Part of me is excited for this opportunity and part of me wants to pretend to be excited for this opportunity. That part of me is criticizing my friends who I miss so much. I received several messages about my friends up at U of I hanging out with eachother. It's really easy for me to sit in a critical armchair, drinking my critical cola, saying things like "Well they're not branching out. They're sticking to what they know, like cowards. If I were to duel them, I would undoubtedly emerge the victor" but that's NOT REALLY TRUE. If I had anyone here, that's exactly what I would be doing. In no way would that prevent me from meeting new people. New people would meet us. I'm sure they're meeting all sorts of interesting people. I'm sure they're doing that much more smoothly than I am.

I met a cool guy named Joseph my first night here, and walked around with him for a while until we parted ways. He talked about how many cute girls there are around here and I just played the "yeah, man" game. I'm so good at that game.

After Joseph I went to the swings here (there's a swingset on campus! !!!) and saw a girl swinging for business, not pleasure. She was really good at swinging. I was determined to meet her. I convinced myself that anybody that enthralled by swinging must be an interesting person. Her name's Ellen. She seems cool. Into Lord of the Rings and Dungeons and Dragons and things like that, but I'm afraid I cannot judge her.

I met a couple of cool people today. I went to a picnic and met Kevin Kingsley, from Chicago, Lauren Aragon from Houston TX (I referenced her full name and where she's from on purpose. It's an inside joke you guys will never be a part of. Allow me this small, pretend victory.), Garreth O'Brien, and Luis something. Kevin and I bonded due to our mutual midwesterness, and we played frisbee with a bunch of people. It's amazing how much that game of frisbee improved my outlook. I already developed a rivalry with this guy named Ryan. We kept tabs on eachother during the game and went out of our way to sabatoge the others efforts. We respect eachother's mad skillz, and later he tried to get me to Ryan to join his scavenger hunt team. SORRY RYAN I HAVE ALL THESE OTHER FRIENDS DESPERATELY SEEKING MY COMPANY.

So I met some people. I'm meeting some of the same people tomorrow for breakfast. I don't know how much we have in common. I don't know if they really really like me or if I really really like them. Iunno. It's weird, thinking I'm going to be here for another 4 years. I can't help thinking about how long it took me to find the people I truly cared about in high school.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME.