No Pants

I don't like to wear pants. I don't like to wear pants at all.

This is Rachel Zook by the way. I'm writing for Mada. You might think I'm doing this because she's busy. But she's not especially busy. I'm looking at her right now. She's a few feet away watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Neglecting her blog night and shit. Being a bitch.

Anyways, yeah, I don't like to wear pants. People here in Chambana have been questioning this. They don't know shit. There are many reasons for going sans pants.

1. Who sleeps in pants? No one. Communists maybe, but other than that, no one. If you're wearing pants during the day, you have to take them off before you go to bed. Waste of time. Even worse, if you're too tired/drunk to remove your pants before crashing, you have to deal with sleeping in pants. It's uncomfortable. And weird. If you never wear pants, you never risk sleeping in pants.

2. No pants is classy. It sends the right message to the opposite sex.

3. It's more fun to do stuff pants-less. This step is strictly underoos-based. Absolutely nothing beyond that. Eating macaroni and cheese, facebook creeping, origami, wearing socks. All better without pants. Try it!

4. Pants get wet and gross on the bottoms in rain/snow.

5. No pants=PARTY TIME. Seriously, everyone knows you're down to when you're not wearing pants. Down to what? Anything. DTF, DTR, DTD, DTS, whatevs. You are DOWN.

6. Gross but if you piss yourself out and about (you knowwwww) it's easier to deal with if you're not wearing pants. True story.
6 1/2. If a friend pisses themselves out and about it's easier to deal with if said friend is not wearing pants. Also true story.

7. Drunk people like to take their pants off. Not their shorts or skirts, but their pants. Shorts, skirts and dresses generally stay on while drunk in public. Not pants. Whenever you drink in pants, you risk taking off your pants and having to explain to the police, your parents, Taco Bell employees, whoever why you don't have pants on. Pants are dangerous.

I can't think of any other reasons.

Get your shit together and get those pants off.