Proof That I'm A Girl

Mada

This weekend I went my cousins wedding in St. Louis. I was pretty annoyed to have to do this because I had gone out of town the previous two weekends and I had a lot of homework and laundry waiting to be done. So not the time for a weekend long of family-time. Plus I have been to a number of weddings in my life and the excitement was wearing off. I went anyway of course, and decided to be a little excited about it since I do really like my cousin Brent (the groom) and his now wife, Sydney.

I am by far the youngest cousin on my dad's side of the family so I have never been too phased by my cousins getting married and having kids. They were adults and that's what adults did. i was a kid. Weddings were boring and they never asked me to be the flower girl. Hello? I'm adorable. Anyway. Brent is different. He's only ten years older than me and he was always like the an older brother to me. He would include me and entertain me at family gatherings even though he was never in the same life stage as I was. He is also the cousin that lives the closest to me and therefore the one I would see the most. These frequent visits also allowed me to become well acquainted with Sydney, his ladylove. She is pretty, extremely nice and subdued. The subdued part is important because my family is full of big personalities and it takes a very chill person to put up with us.

Shit got real weird for me as soon as i saw Brent. There he was, sitting at the head of the table, laughing and joking about the coming events of Saturday and all I could think about were the dumb turtlenecks he wore in high school, laughing at the projectile vomitting in The Menaing Of Life with him and how bad his feet smelled when we hiked the grand canyon together. Then I looked at Sydney and thought about meeting her a few years back as Brent's new girlfriend, how she had cut all her hair off for locks of love and how she had almost cried when she showed us her engagement ring and told us how Brent had proposed. It was like a movie. I couldn't imagine my favorite cousin Brent getting married like an adult even though I already felt like Sydney was a part of our family. I had never had anyone I was truly close to get married and I couldn't make it make sense in my mind.

I ended up sitting in the back of the church right by the doors. As the ceremony started the doors opened and Brent walked down the isle with the preacher wearing a tux. I had never seen him in anything nicer than jeans and it hit me that this was really happening. He was standing in front of his whole family saying that he had found someone he loved more than himself and he was willing to announce it to the whole world that he never wanted to be with anyone else as long as he lived. At that point I knew I was in trouble but I decided I wouldn't cry. The bridal party processed through and the doors were closed in preparation for Sydney's entrance. The doors opened and there stood my cousins fiance in the most beautiful dress I have ever seen with a look on her face of the purest happiness I have ever seen. She shined. She walked down the aisle and I lost it. I had seen Sydney so many times and spent so many gatherings at the same table and seeing her usual shyness completely wiped away and replaced with a look of someone who was so sure, so happy and so in love was overwhelming. I cried. It was embarrassing.

I tried to collect myself but as Brent and Sydney joined hands and began to say their vows I realized there was now hope for my composure. I was witnessing something that is so rare in life. They stood up there so wrapped up in each other and so in the moment that they might as well have been alone in the room. All they needed was each other. I have never felt so blessed to witness something in my life.

I understand that this is the point of weddings and that it is assumed that every couple that does this feels the same way as Brent and Sydney but this was the first time I was close enough to both parties to really comprehend it. There's a reason there are so many songs and poems about love. It is something bigger than a person and it is really an awe-inspiring entity. I hope that Brent and Sydney have an amazing life together.