50 ... things

Your problems, from me:


1. Sunflower seeds

2. The Wire

3. Wallace

4. Boats

5. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

6. Peein' Ian

7. A Kid Named Cudi

8. DKB - The Overdue

9. Remember Lil Wayne?

10. My dog

11. Names

12. Germany

13. Less fortunate countries

14. Marijuana, amongst other drugs

15. The Big Dav(e)

16. Feline AIDS

17. Slugs

18. Ravens

19. The Wire

20. College

21. Effort

22. The pursuit of happiness

23. Sports movies

24. The Wire

25. Bananas

26. Diseases

27. Finding Forrester?

28. Ray Allen

29. Ben Gordon

30. All that weird music Lauren likes

31. Lauryn.

32. Public schools

33. Cross-curricular!

34. Jackie Robinson

35. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

36. Talib Kweli

37. Alcohol

38. Jamie Foxx

39. Fantastic Mr. Fox

40. The National

41. Lollapalooza

42. Pitchfork — might have to sell my ticket I have for Sunday. If you'd like it, go on and shout me out.

43. Burgers

44. The diversity of humankind

45. That fucker who killed MLK

46. Dave Chappelle

47. Young adorable Kanye West

48. Chicago

49. Bad TV dramas

50. The Wire

_________________________________________
Your problems, answered:

1. Sunflower seeds
(in my mouth)
2. The Wire
(not watching it, thus my tv is off)
3. Wallace
(WHY?)
4. Boats
(smacked down)
5. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
(Owning property)
6. Peein' Ian
(drugs)
7. A Kid Named Cudi
(GOOD music)
8. DKB - The Overdue
(Not music)
9. Remember Lil Wayne?
(Irrelevant music)
~

10. My dog
(so ittttchy)
11. Names
(not as important as we claim they are)

12. Germany
(what's goin' on over there?)
13. Less fortunate countries
 (what's goin' on over here?)

14. Marijuana, amongst other drugs
(they're out there)

~

15. The Big Dav(e)
(Maroon car hell yes Grant!)

16. Feline AIDS
(The past can still hurt)

17. Slugs
(So can salt, actually)

18. Ravens
(Lockouts... and Baltimore)

19. The Wire
(So what?)

20. College
(Gotta get Stringer smart!)

21. Effort
(College's fine print)

22. The pursuit of happiness
(College's bold print)

23. Sports movies
(My personal favorite? Remember the...)

24. The Wire
(Sorry, just don't worry about it.)

25. Bananas
(How 'bout them apples, angry white man?)

26. Diseases
(How 'bout them abscesses, sad white man?)

27. Finding Forrester?
(movies I haven't seen that have black people in them)

28. Ray Allen
(movies I have seen that have black people in them)

29. Ben Gordon
(the opposite)

~
30. All that weird music Lauren likes
(Like Energy Spent, by Liam Finn)

31. Lauryn.
(What a lovely fucking lady)

32. Public schools
(tend to miseducate)
33. Cross-curricular!
(Unless you're learning from this mofo!)

34. Jackie Robinson
(Mostly probably about this mofo.)

35. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
(The answer to life lies on Jackie's back)

36. Talib Kweli
(Black Star never goes on stage without a towel)

37. Alcohol
(Canopy Club-Laura Sokolowski-SoCo-YUP)

38. Jamie Foxx
(who I blame for being crazy)

39. Fantastic Mr. Fox
(this one's simple)

40. The National
(Picturing Fantastic Mr. Fox singing "I won't fuck us over!")

41. Lollapalooza
(At this venue, where I did not get to see them last year. Or this year. Or ever, most likely)

42. Pitchfork — might have to sell my ticket I have for Sunday. If you'd like it, go on and shout me out.
 (Uh, yeah. Shit.)
43. Burgers
(Delicious...)

44. The diversity of humankind
(...different.)

45. That fucker who killed MLK
(What was his probbbbblem? Oh right, unforgivable racist and inhumane. Forgot)

46. Dave Chappelle
(Nicole Simpson can't rap!)

47. Young adorable Kanye West
(Milsap's band)

48. Chicago
(Found out I was gang affiliated, got on tv and told on me)

49. Bad TV dramas
(Aka, not...)

50. The Wire
(Okay okay, you're right. I have a problem. Well, maybe just an addiction. Not a problem. WALLACE!)


--Eliot Sill