Nick - YOU ARE NOT WORTHY

My grandparents came over for dinner yesterday. Know what the best part of that is? Before you guess some shit about "family," I'm just gonna tell you: those motherfuckers brought an ice cream cake.

YOU CAN'T HANDLE ME

And that bastard is fucking delicious. Yeah, I've heard you haters. I know what you say. "The cake just gets cold," you say. "It's just less cake," you say.

Well, you can criticize all day. But while all y'all are trying your hardest to not have fun, I'm eating an ice cream cake. Dumb motherfuckers.

THIS SHIT IS DELICIOUS

Ice cream is the best, ever. And if I could eat ice cream all the time without stopping ever, I would be happy.

But if I could eat ice cream cake all the time without stopping ever, I'd be fucking ecstatic.

This is because ice cream cake transcends the plain of normal food, and rules above it all like a delicious fucking tyrant sex god.

It's lifted above the limitations of mere ice cream, or simple cake, and becomes a deity of deliciousness. My love for ice cream cake knows nothing of hunger; it's straight up lust.

YOU'LL HAVE AN ORGASM

Word.

-Nick.