Robert - That's Deep

We're so conditioned to the phrase "That's deep" that it almost serves as an automatic response to any insightful or slightly poetic comment that could be given. Myself, I don't even like to think about thoughts, so if I hear so much as one three-syllable word form on your lips, I begin forming "That's deep" on mine right away. Now that I've saved you the trouble of stimulating a conversation, we can return to talking about drinking, video games, rock music, or other friends who aren't in the room.

And now I hear you using other complicated words, you pretentious cock. You think that girl over there, that cute one, is svelte? You call her a sylph? Fuck you. Don't you ever make my language pretty. We have words for girls like that: cute, hot, sexy. Those are them; use them.

I noticed you talking about the environment again. That isn't rock music and it doesn't affect the amount of drunk I am. You say that in 2018, solar power could be more economically efficient than coal and gas? Sounds like hipster bullshit to me. Take your highbrow smart car and your ugly Toms back to Greenwich Village or wherever it is that you weirdos come from.

...In our culture we really like to intellectually suppress each other. Maybe it's because of a natural competitiveness, in that we all wish to believe we're on a tier above everyone else. Or hey, maybe it's because we're actually on some apathetic tier below everyone else and don't care enough to approach interesting issues. But either way, I think "That's deep" usually amounts to one of the most condescending phrases you can offer another human being.

Nick - Protector of the Weak!

You know Gyarados, right? If you don't, bear with me, I'll stop talking about Pokemon in a sec.

Anyway, Gyarados makes Pokemon games easy. He has monstrous attack power, solid defenses on all counts, and only really fears the electric type. To top it all off, you can get him relatively early in the game because he evolves at level 20. After that, he's a machine. He crushes anything in your path.

And that is why he is boring.

Because every time I'm too good at something, I get bored of it. My favorite pokemon is always the one that is cool, but not that good. This way, I accomplish two things:
1. I am challenged.
And 2. I feel like I'm doing things in my own style. (ie, like I'm better than other people.)

This principle of preferring weakness rather than strength comes back to haunt me in every video game I play, but it carries over to other stuff too.

In Golden Sun 2, I didn't care that I had super strong characters I could use; I wanted to use Ivan, because I like him. He died quickly all the time, but for some reason my attachment to him only grew stronger as it became clear things weren't going to work out. Fire Emblem was a similar story, but infinitely more painful because of how frustrating that game is.

This isn't just a trait that flairs up in video games, though that seems to be where it's most prominent. If I'm at the gym in Champaign and there's a guy who doesn't know what he's doing, I feel an immediate attachment to him. By being uncomfortable and out of his element, he has shown his weakness. And this leads me to believe we are destined to be friends.

I can only conclude that nature done screwed up and gave me a maternal instinct. Curse you, nature, and all of your doings!

Basically the point is that I choose to surround myself with weakness. I guess that explains my friends!


Zing!

-Nick.