John Steinbeck and I were leaving Texas
together. He ended up getting out a couple hours before I finally
did, but we were there together, and instead of consuming he and
Charley's travels, I was rivaling them. Instead of a dog, a fully
equipped truck and a fantastic poetic disposition, I had Nick, Brian,
Conor and Nina Horne — a friend of Conor's from Oklahoma University
— for companions.
I suppose the most important aspect of
my vacation is that I did it. Until a week before, I was fairly
committed to the idea of using Spring Break as a sabbatical to catch
up on classes and read some books in the solitude of my efficiency
apartment, in a city that everyone I knew would be vacating for a
week. It would be nice. But I was tired of turning down my friends'
expeditions for the sake of giving myself time that I could only hope
would be put toward bettering my journalistic aspects. I could only
hope to use that time. I would put myself in the arena and wait for
the game to be played around me. I needed to leave the arena. The
ease with which I did so was liberating. I simply decided to go. A
week later, I had gone.
The trip began without ceremony. I left
my dog Mac(s) and my mom behind, riding with Nick and Brian out of
Springfield (we were to meet Conor in Norman, Okla., and Nina in
Dallas). I fell asleep pretty soon after we got on the highway, have
vague sleepy memories of the difficulty experienced navigating St.
Louis, then woke up in earnest somewhere in Missouri. How nice.
The weather for the first leg of our
trip, a 10-hour dive down to Norman, was utter shit. Gray skies made
for ease of sight, but eventually those skies opened up and spit and
urinated on our silver Taurus for approximately 900 percent of the
trip. My driver's license was suspended, so I was useless beyond
added conversation and enthusiasm for radio plays of Taylor Swift's
“Trouble,” which I had picked up on pretty quickly as what would
be a hallmark of the trip. Other hits were Justin Timberlake's “Suit
and Tie” and R.E.M.'s “Losing My Religion.” What a crew.
After Nick spent a few hours trying to
outrun the rain — which looked on the radar like a Google Maps
route line for our progress thus far — we pulled into a Steak N
Shake for a late lunch in hopes that the rain would get over itself.
I felt the familiar judgment one feels whenever walking into his
local Steak N Shake chain; these places are typically filled with
locals who have a good chance of knowing anyone who would walk in. I
ordered cheese fries and was greeted with phony ass nacho cheese
drizzled over my fries. Oh, Missouri. Pretty soon after Brian took
over the driving duties, the rain became inconsequential.
Robert once called Missouri “the
brooding artist of the Midwest,” speaking about its geography. I
don't know if they were his words, but if they were, he can take
satisfaction in knowing that the phrase has stuck with me and is
warmed in my memory every time I travel through Missouri. Missouri
has great hilly rifts within itself that paint the highway scenery in
such a way that makes even the 70 mph speed limits not enough to
counteract its beauty. Steinbeck wrote of his travels in the time
when such interstate highways were just being built, and he saw them
as a potential demise of the aesthetic appeal of travel. I subscribe
to this belief, if for no other reason than that I've never been
wowed by high speed countryside.
The 70 mph speeds, when combined with
the gray rainy weather barf, were enough to make Missouri as
breathtaking as a pile of wet toilet paper. At one point, Missouri
open fired on us with a barrage of hail that changed the 70 mph
speeds to 0 mph ones. Nick, driving, laughed in terror as Brian and I
sat more upright in our seats and used our hands to hold on to
things. Other than that minute-long sample of hell, the weather was
drab and boring. Brian, Nick and I were left to commenting on
Missouri's alter ego, Missouruh, which is how we referred to
Missouri's trashy parts. Brian went so far as to say that Missouri's
landscape is just like Illinois' but with hills, which I agreed with
in the same vein that I think the ocean shares Illinois' geography,
only it has water.
Eventually Brian took us into Oklahoma,
which geographically is an impressionable friend of Texas and
Missouri that holds no loyalties to either state. It is plains upon
plains with minor variations here and there, but nothing particularly
characterizable. It is also a big state, and hides Norman from
Illinois like the human body hides its liver. We traveled through
Oklahoma for exhausting lengths of time.
Our correspondence with Conor to this
point had been very little. We were going to spend the night with
Conor in Norman before shipping out for New Orleans the next day.
Eventually we made it to Oklahoma City, where I saw that one building
TNT always shows during city cut-away shots before and after
commercials of Thunder games. OKC phased seamlessly into Norman, and
suddenly Conor was within shouting distance.
Conor was a friend with whom I had
become quite distant over the past couple years, mainly because I
kept turning down offers such as these for extended stays with him.
Staying in Champaign had produced exceedingly moderate results, but
this decision produced Conor O'Brien, right in front of me, when I
otherwise simply would not be in contact with him. At Conor's, we had
beers like men while catching up and swapping stories and engaging in
a random dance-off to please the funk emanating from his iHome. The
catching up felt sweet and genuine and more or less I was with my
boys again for the first time since Solstice 2011. A game of Mario
Party 3 stopped short, thank God, and I went and slept.
I had read John Steinbeck's “Travels
With Charley” at a stone's pace over the semester, and was
determined to finish it on this trip because the stack of books I was
“determined to finish” before the end of the semester was
mounting, having been defeated by course readings yet again.
Steinbeck was an appropriate romanticizer. He would take a brief
conversation had by some local in a stranger, with he in all his
writer's pretense and massive, overstocked truck dubbed “Rocinante”
— he may as well have been a blog riding an elephant, and
characterize an entire state or region with care and poignancy. Many
digressions of his tackled seemingly outdated subjects with an
uncanny timelessness that made me lower the book in incredulity.
Maybe it was his writings, and how he tied these tales of wisdom to
the simple fact that he got the hell out and went somewhere, that
persuaded me to enlist in this vacation.
I read a lot of “Travels With
Charley” before the trip, and this made me want to take Mac(s) with
us, though I knew how implausible that was. But the half of the book
I read on the road made me glad Mac(s) had stayed back.
That and the fact that we picked up a
fifth person just a few hours after leaving Norman and our car became
stuffed. Nina Horne, an Ultimate teammate of Conor's from Oklahoma,
whose parents live in New Orleans, was someone who had let me sleep
in her bed before I ever met her. Maggie Tyson turned out to be one
of these people as well, but we'll get to her later. Nina was someone
whom I'd wanted to meet since Conor began telling me stories involving
her two-plus years ago. Plus she was from New Orleans, so how awesome
could she not be? Nina's dad, Kevin Horne, or Mr. Kevin, as Conor
called him, had shelled out drinks like peanuts last time Conor, Nick
and Brian had visited. He had quite a reputation, and his daughter
was friendly, polite enough not to chastise us for singing along
everytime “Trouble” came on the radio, which was very frequently.
We had to alternate the GPS with the iTrip because the Taurus only
had one cigarette lighter plugin. The iTrip was off in city areas,
and the competition between “Trouble” and “Suit and Tie” was
in full swing. As of this writing, it is still ongoing.*
It was during this leg of the trip,
after picking up Nina from Dallas, where I read to the end of
“Travels With Charley.” The sun had joined us for the drive from
Norman to New Orleans, thankfully enough, making reading a more
pleasant experience. I am not a skilled reader. I still pass through
stretches of text while thinking about my personal life without remembering to reread the passage. I hate to think of how many
intricacies I passed over during moments of sleepiness and bright
sun. I hate to think this because I don't like rereading books. I
like it in theory, but I am not a skilled reader, and thus read quite
slowly. To reread one book is to unread another, and I need not
unread any books, few as my kill total stands. I always try and force
more interaction between myself and the outside world than is
required, because ultimately it is this interaction that keeps one
from passing through the world unnoticed. However, I know full well
that I still do a lousy job of this. In Steinbeck's time it was more
commonplace to talk to strangers, now everyone's just afraid you're here to
rape their loved ones, and with understandable reason, given the
commonality of such tales of late.
I came to a part in “Travels With
Charley” where Steinbeck drove through Texas, which was doubly
cathartic when read while traveling through Texas. A memorable
passage was of a grand dinner he and his wife (who had visited him
during this phase of his traveling) had with some wealthy Texans. He
talked of the special preparation with which the meal was prepared.
He ended by stating he refused to believe people in Texas ate like
that every day. This realization is one that everyone should
inherently know about hospitality, but doesn't think to consider
specifically. In Steinbeck's journey, he left Texas for New Orleans,
which in reading created a giddy excitement in me. I was also heading
to New Orleans via Texas. Steinbeck was going to see the
Cheerleaders, New Orleans mothers who protested integration of
schools. I was going to glorify the unique cultural blend harbored by
the city. There we differed, and it was ironic. Steinbeck's writing
lost passion after New Orleans. He tired of traveling and this was
reflected in his writing. It made me feel good to know that the
Steinbecks of the world get tired of projects they enter with ample
excitement and are carrying out successfully. For this reason, the
book ended quickly after Steinbeck's trip to New Orleans, and I
partly wished it would have ended there, but I was thrilled with the
parallel nonetheless. Of course, I had been riding the superhighways
that defeated the beauty of travel, and was neither writing my
experience down as it occurred nor washing my clothes in Brian's
trunk.
Nina soon ran into a traffic jam. We
chided her for “driving so slow” and she took it well in stride,
which while not surprising was pleasant and went to make it easier to
talk to her. I wanted to get a start on my next literary target,
Dostoyevsky's “The Idiot,” which was, uhh, placed in the trunk
for this journey. Our traffic jam slowed to a dead stop, however, and
Nina agreed to pop the trunk while I ran out into the middle of I-20
to retrieve it. “The Idiot” scared the hell out of me. Tiny text,
imperceptibly thin pages, translated work, 1800s writing, Russian
setting I knew nothing about. This was not the timeless Steinbeck
writing an acute depiction of a country I already knew in a neat 250
pages. This was Dostoyevsky, whatever the hell that meant. I read
that day until it got dark on the road, reading for pages and trying
to invest myself in a story I knew a certified nothing about.
We got to New Orleans after midnight.
The city — though we were merely on
the outskirts and away from “the city” in the sense one would
imagine it — greeted me with a hug of warmth, the kind which I had
not felt in months, that of a natural, night warmth. Like an
invitation to see someone you thought was angry with you, it grabbed
me by the shoulders and led me out of the car. Here I met Kevin Horne.
Nina's dad, Kevin Horne, was here for
the same reasons I was. The difference was that he had gotten to stay
here and raise a family, and I likely will never get that chance. It
only took about halfway into our handshake for me to envy him. His
salt-and-pepper moustache was not so flamboyant as to be
handlebarred, but was an upward twist away from that level, and
nevertheless a prominent feature of his. He sported horn-rimmed
spectacles that reminded me of something my mom would find at a
thrift store and subsequently try to pass off as vintage-fashionable.
His gut toed the preferred side of the line between happily married
and fat. He was wearing shorts and sandals, but the rest of this
paragraph should have given that away to you already.
Out of the corner of my eye, from the
low-lit front yard, palm trees tugged at my attention from the corner
of my eyes, as if to say “Hey, see us? We're palm trees. And down
here, we're freaking walkway foliage.” I took their arrogant jabs
in good stride, knowing that I'd have palm trees in my front yard if
I lived in New Orleans as well, and they'd be instructed to convey
the same message to any out-of-towners.
New Orleans, for its cultural
sublimity, is my version of a dead-sexy Hollywood actress that I
can't get out of my head, that I don't admit to my friends just how
much I love her based on only surface knowledge. She is the one whom
I must have, be she out of my league or not.
We parted with Nina and went over to
the Tysons to sleep. We parked our car in front of their yard and
nervously walked our way around the house to the back door, where we
were greeted by a bug-eyed black and white miniature boxer pug pup
with a red, rubber-stubbled ring in his mouth. It was as if we were
late to an appointment to play. No humans found us as we snuck up
quietly to the bedrooms the Tyson family had sacrificed and set up
for us. We quickly, quietly divided rooms, before finding one of
Maggie's two sisters — whose name may have been Sarah but I can
hardly remember and she shouldn't credit me for thoughtfulness if I'm
correct — who gave us the Wi-Fi password so we could get on with
our lives after hours spent away from the Internet.
Classic and I shared a room, and the
puppy came up to play with us, feeling stood up. We were nervous
about making noise and thus were poor playmates. We sent him out of
the room eventually, and I turned a light on, read a chapter of
Dostoyevsky, and went to sleep.
part II will come out eventually; just wait, knuckleheads.
*- It is no longer ongoing.
*- It is no longer ongoing.
