Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Game

Since being in college, the old Classic has passed away and been replaced by a new, more cynical Classic. He has been infused with the very essence of evil itself...spite. Yes, spite. He is not exactly sure from whence it comes, but it seems to emanate from Room 112 Blaisedale, Pennsylvania Avenue Residence Hall. He also feels it faintly drifting in from the far off lands of Missouri and Oklahoma. Is there no escape from this menacing threat that threatens the very core of Classic's moral fiber?

"Could you hold this?". Sure. *Drops wallet immediately after being handed it*. "No one should agree with Robert just to make him feel unloved." *Immediately post something stating total agreement with Robert*. "Use your quickenings!" *Refuse to ever use quickenings again, even if at some point it finally IS a good idea*. "I hate when people do that!" * mean THIS?!?!* "I love Cake!" *Immediately display immense dislike for Cake, despite knowing how good they are*. (I'm looking at you here, Schribnizz. And speaking of Roy....possible dark knight candidate for most spiteful person on earth?) "I'm not gay, I swear!" *Kiss the bastard until he's the fucking gayest*. "I fully expect you to make this joke here." *Make a different joke, despite it being much less funny. Or neglect to make a joke at all. Or tell the joke anyway because they thought you were going to change it out of spite*. Double spite.

What's the point of the game? Fuck everyone over. Why? Why not, bitch? If you don't participate, you're a lesser being. You are weak, a weed waiting to be pulled up. Only the dominant survive. There's no time for being cordial or "nice". Ha! Whatever that is... No mercy, especially if you're a girl. How else will they learn the harsh nature of humor? Because that's what spite is. The darkest, deepest, and only true form of humor. What's funnier than a joke at someone else's expense? A joke at someone else's expense, specifically for being at someone else's expense, that's what.

That's our crowd. If you don't like it, get the fuck out. Go listen to more Justin Bieber, you pansy. We listen to indie music here. Of course you've never heard of them, you fool. That's the point. We weren't all the "cool kids" in high school (except that one homecoming king guy....what a jackass), but we were the coolest kids in high school. Of course you've never heard of us. Our indie power cloaks us from your vision. My point in this paragraph? Fuck you. I was gonna explain, but just for asking, you can figure it out yourself.



  1. Wow. Classic just took spite by storm.

  2. -Neil Strauss


  3. the fact that you're only doing this to outspite us kind of takes the true spite out of pretty much all of your actions. just saying.


  4. No, Eliot, his spite for the mere purpose of defeating us is extremely spiteful, not less spiteful. I'm on Brian's team - he's already better than you. Spite team, Brian?