Friday, July 15, 2011

Conor - The Wire, or Negative Side Effects Of Watching the Wire


Yes, yes. I recognize that Wednesday Eliot and I have brought up the Wire pretty often recently. I realize that you probably don't want to read a blog post that's me gushing about the Wire. This is not that blog post, I promise. The Wire is just a starting point to this train of thought.

I will start with a little gushing, though. Here's the part that's annoying. The Wire is very, very good. Expertly written, acted, paced and directed. The show is about Baltimore, Maryland, and a few good cops who are trying their best. Every season focuses on another aspect of Baltimore that is broken or breaking. Season 1 was about the war on drugs, Season 2 is an "elegy for America's working class," in show creator David Simon's own words, Season 3 is about politics, and 4 is about Baltimore's education system.

In a letter to all of the fans of the show, David Simon has this to say about the 5th and final season of the Wire. "This year our drama its last thematic question: Why, if there is any truth in anything presented in the Wire over the last four seasons, does that truth go unaddressed by our political culture, by most of our mass media, and by our society in general?"

I'm only midway through Season 2 right now, so I have no tackled the bulk of what the Wire has for me and many of the hard questions have not been asked yet, but what I have seen has already showcased the shows' heartbreaking sympathy for those without power. The camera sympathetically follows several of the drug dealers that in a normal show would function as the antagonist. These are people too. Some of them were born into the game. Some of them couldn't get out of they tried. David Simon and his team of writers give everyone dignity. Every single character on the show is a shade of gray.

But like I said, this post isn't really about the Wire. It's about the big questions that the Wire has sortof forced me to think about. David Simon says in his letter to the fans that "we tried to be entertaining, but in no way did we want to be mistaken for entertainment. We tried to provoke, to critique and debate and rant a bit. We wanted an argument." Simon and his writers wrote this article on the war on drugs that's very interesting and shows his general standpoint.

Simon did his homework (he was a cop reporter in Baltimore for a stretch of time), he saw several problems, and he's brought these problems to the attention of the American public through his show.

I feel like he's done something extremely worthwhile with his life. I'm not sure what the qualifications are to be "worthwhile," but David Simon has accomplished that.

Just watching the Wire makes me feel selfish. I feel like I'm a part of the problem. The Wire is fiction, but most of the events are very realistic. Similar things have occured, I'm sure. I have nothing to do with any of them and I can probably pretty easily ignore these things for my entire life. David Simon could have done that too.

So what can I do about it? How can I help? I don't know. I'm 19 and going to school for Music Composition. I'm not going to be a reporter and bring startling, terrible issues to the publics attention. I'm not going to be a detective and try to take down those who are harming others. I sortof want to, though.

Being a musician is a very selfish desire in that it's all basically for my own fulfillment. I want my music to be heard. It doesn't really effect others all that much. Think about it, if one single musician or band was gone, just never existed, would your life change all that much? Would you be tangibly less happy? I don't really think so. If Spoon never formed, my life would be exactly the same. Hell, if Ben Folds never made it, I'm pretty sure things would be pretty similar to how they are right now for me. So me being a musician will never really do anything for anyone. The world needs music in a very broad way, but not in a very specific way. The world does not need my music.

How can I help how can I help how can I help. I could give money to foundations that help people. This is a very easy way to feel like I'm making a difference. Here, take my money, just so long as I don't have to do more than that. I'm being needlessly critical of giving to charity and I don't know why. Obviously giving to charity is great, I just feel powerless. I want to do more.

I want to do more. I think I want to do more, that is. Doing more is actually a whole lot of work. It takes research, action, resolve. Not a lot of people do more, which is another lazy defense I can use. I'm in the majority when I ignore these things.

Which is sortof the point of the Wire. The theme by the end (according to David Simon's letter) is "how are we ignoring these things?"

I may mention the Wire a lot recently and I'm sure that's annoying, but this show is good enough to make me think about these things. It is a success. David Simon got the argument he was looking for.

But instead of acting on these thoughts I think I'm just going to watch more of the Wire.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Harry Potter and the Totally Relevant Bloglist


by Brendan Cavanagh

As I sit on my couch all day today in agitated anticipation for the midnight premier of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II, I'm finding it hard to be productive or to focus on any one thing for an extended period of time. In honor of tonight's magical shenanigans, here is a cornucopia of lists and things that run through my mind when I judge the merit of one book / movie from another. Have at it:


Hottest Actresses:

1. Clemence Poesy (Fleur Delacour)

2. Emma Watson (Hermione Granger)

3. Helena Bonham Carter (Bellatrix Lestrange)

4. Domhnall Gleason (Bill Weasley)

5. Evanna Lynch (Luna Lovegood)


Favorite Books:


1. The Half-Blood Prince
2. The Deathly Hallows
3. The Goblet of Fire
4. The Order of the Phoenix
5. The Prisoner of Azkaban
6. The Chamber of Secrets
7. The Sorcerer's Stone


Favorite Movies:


1. The Half-Blood Prince
2. The Goblet of Fire
3. The Chamber of Secrets
4. The Deathly Hallows Part I
5. The Prisoner of Azkaban
6. The Order of the Phoenix
7. The Sorcerer's Stone

In the Order of the Phoenix, the jump cut from the playground to a hand-held camera following Harry & Dudley as they run from the storm is, in my opinion, one of the best-shot scenes of the series.


Best Movie-Ending Song (very, very important):


1. Reunion of Friends by John Williams (Chamber of Secrets)
2. Another Years Ends by Patrick Doyle (Goblet of Fire)
3. Loved Ones & Leaving by Nicholas Hooper (Order of the Phoenix)
4. Mischief Managed! by John Williams (Prisoner of Azkaban)

Who can forget Harry's charming mug plastered across the theater screen?

5. Leaving Hogwarts by John Williams (Sorcerer's Stone)
6. The Friends by Nicholas Hooper (Half-Blood Prince)
7. The Elder Wand by Alexandre Desplat (Deathly Hallows Part I)

There's so much more I could do, but I have to get ready for the premier. And yes, I'm aware it's not 5:00 yet.

50 ... things

Your problems, from me:


1. Sunflower seeds

2. The Wire

3. Wallace

4. Boats

5. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

6. Peein' Ian

7. A Kid Named Cudi

8. DKB - The Overdue

9. Remember Lil Wayne?

10. My dog

11. Names

12. Germany

13. Less fortunate countries

14. Marijuana, amongst other drugs

15. The Big Dav(e)

16. Feline AIDS

17. Slugs

18. Ravens

19. The Wire

20. College

21. Effort

22. The pursuit of happiness

23. Sports movies

24. The Wire

25. Bananas

26. Diseases

27. Finding Forrester?

28. Ray Allen

29. Ben Gordon

30. All that weird music Lauren likes

31. Lauryn.

32. Public schools

33. Cross-curricular!

34. Jackie Robinson

35. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

36. Talib Kweli

37. Alcohol

38. Jamie Foxx

39. Fantastic Mr. Fox

40. The National

41. Lollapalooza

42. Pitchfork — might have to sell my ticket I have for Sunday. If you'd like it, go on and shout me out.

43. Burgers

44. The diversity of humankind

45. That fucker who killed MLK

46. Dave Chappelle

47. Young adorable Kanye West

48. Chicago

49. Bad TV dramas

50. The Wire

_________________________________________
Your problems, answered:

1. Sunflower seeds
(in my mouth)
2. The Wire
(not watching it, thus my tv is off)
3. Wallace
(WHY?)
4. Boats
(smacked down)
5. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
(Owning property)
6. Peein' Ian
(drugs)
7. A Kid Named Cudi
(GOOD music)
8. DKB - The Overdue
(Not music)
9. Remember Lil Wayne?
(Irrelevant music)
~

10. My dog
(so ittttchy)
11. Names
(not as important as we claim they are)

12. Germany
(what's goin' on over there?)
13. Less fortunate countries
 (what's goin' on over here?)

14. Marijuana, amongst other drugs
(they're out there)

~

15. The Big Dav(e)
(Maroon car hell yes Grant!)

16. Feline AIDS
(The past can still hurt)

17. Slugs
(So can salt, actually)

18. Ravens
(Lockouts... and Baltimore)

19. The Wire
(So what?)

20. College
(Gotta get Stringer smart!)

21. Effort
(College's fine print)

22. The pursuit of happiness
(College's bold print)

23. Sports movies
(My personal favorite? Remember the...)

24. The Wire
(Sorry, just don't worry about it.)

25. Bananas
(How 'bout them apples, angry white man?)

26. Diseases
(How 'bout them abscesses, sad white man?)

27. Finding Forrester?
(movies I haven't seen that have black people in them)

28. Ray Allen
(movies I have seen that have black people in them)

29. Ben Gordon
(the opposite)

~
30. All that weird music Lauren likes
(Like Energy Spent, by Liam Finn)

31. Lauryn.
(What a lovely fucking lady)

32. Public schools
(tend to miseducate)
33. Cross-curricular!
(Unless you're learning from this mofo!)

34. Jackie Robinson
(Mostly probably about this mofo.)

35. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
(The answer to life lies on Jackie's back)

36. Talib Kweli
(Black Star never goes on stage without a towel)

37. Alcohol
(Canopy Club-Laura Sokolowski-SoCo-YUP)

38. Jamie Foxx
(who I blame for being crazy)

39. Fantastic Mr. Fox
(this one's simple)

40. The National
(Picturing Fantastic Mr. Fox singing "I won't fuck us over!")

41. Lollapalooza
(At this venue, where I did not get to see them last year. Or this year. Or ever, most likely)

42. Pitchfork — might have to sell my ticket I have for Sunday. If you'd like it, go on and shout me out.
 (Uh, yeah. Shit.)
43. Burgers
(Delicious...)

44. The diversity of humankind
(...different.)

45. That fucker who killed MLK
(What was his probbbbblem? Oh right, unforgivable racist and inhumane. Forgot)

46. Dave Chappelle
(Nicole Simpson can't rap!)

47. Young adorable Kanye West
(Milsap's band)

48. Chicago
(Found out I was gang affiliated, got on tv and told on me)

49. Bad TV dramas
(Aka, not...)

50. The Wire
(Okay okay, you're right. I have a problem. Well, maybe just an addiction. Not a problem. WALLACE!)


--Eliot Sill

Monday, July 11, 2011

Nick - The Most Self-Indulgent Post On The Planet

Today, I texted some of the other members of Classic Brian with the following question:

"When you think 'Nicholas Dietrich,' what is the first word that comes to mind?"

Here are some answers.

Tuesday Mada: Clean.
Classic Brian: robot
Sunday Robert: hair. im so sorry.

Notice that none of these words are "asshole." (Though I am, apparently, a clean hair robot.) Today I'm going to change that.

Now watch me play drums, dammit.

Behold my awesome drum set. The gorgeous, shining cymbals. The roto-toms with their translucent blue sheen. And my sleek, sexy body. Beautiful. And how talented!

And since I assume you are scratching your head and trying to keep up with me, I'll just help you out with that too. It's in 5/4, then 7/4, and then 4/4.

I don't want to hear any complaining, because I'm busting my ass over here trying to be modest. I left my shirt on in the video. I even kept it less than two minutes! In the words of my brother, "your drumming is usually more flashy than that." So there! I'm talented, gorgeous, and modest.

Sincerely yours,
-Nick (is an asshole).

Unstoppable Blog

Robert Langellier

In tonight's lecture, I'm going to share with you some recent thoughts I've had on various linguistic subjects.

1a. First of all, there some adjectives I've discovered lately that unfailingly make any noun in the English language better. Recently, I've begun inserting them randomly and often into my speech, creating some indecipherable, gorgeous sentences. These adjectives are as follows: Unstoppable, Explosive, and Titanic.

For example:
-"Would not bang. She's a titanic slut."

-"How was your weekend?"
-"Unstoppable."

-"I can't believe she gave us 45 pages to read!"
-"Yeah, I wish our homework was more explosive."

These words, when randomly applied, will make you a more interesting person. I personally guarantee it. They will grab the mundane and transform it into the explosively mundane. Admittedly, titanic has less augmenting power than both unstoppable and explosive, and so I strategically placed it first in the examples so you'd have forgotten it by now.

1b. One adjective I would like to include with an asterisk is ultimate. Ultimate is an excellent adjective to use with special restrictions, particularly by capitalizing both words and removing any articles. My subconscious tells me I have garnered this knowledge nugget from Conor.* I know not if this is true, but fully expect him to quickly claim credit anyway. The formula works better with vague, staccato sentences that contain naught but two words:

-"How are you so chipper? Didn't you go to bed at like five?"
-"Ultimate Sleep."

Now that's a winning sentence.

*Probably a result of him constantly talking about ultimate frisbee.

1c. The "ultimate" formula is also applicable to "titanic" for additional augmentation, I have found:

-"Would not bang. She is Titanic Slut."

2. Since we're on the subject of adjectives, let's move to adverbs, the sickly cousins of adjectives. Second only to gerunds in being generally not understood by people, adverbs have the surprising power of sucking the momentum out of interesting words. As I am about to show, my game-changing adjectives lose steam when converted to adverbs:

-"What is wrong with me?"
-"You're explosively boring."

-"Omg look! A squirrel!"
-"Omg, it's unstoppably cute."

And thus, dear reader, the reason why science is ever-changing. Clearly these are both phenomenal sentences. Adverbs can indeed be flavorful, and they can be used to spice up your speech in excellent ways. One formula I suggest is the following: When using multiple adjectives for a single noun, turn the first adjective instead into an bold adverb, regardless of its effect on meaning. As such:

Originally:
-"The suspect is a dangerous black man."
Use instead:
-"The suspect is a dangerously black man."

3. I was trying to imagine, today, what the probably Latin phrase ad hominem meant. I was struck by the harsh transition from the hard, abrupt "d" sound followed by the exhaling "h" sound. I decided then that no word ending in "d" should ever precede one beginning in "h." I immediately went on to realize that basically no word ending in any letter should ever precede one beginning in "h," because "h" is a just an awful letter, I realized. It's just...breathing forcefully. It's awkward and I won't stand for it. So this is why France has silenced it, I thought to myself, but even they are noncommittal enough to not execute the damn thing. I meandered through the alphabet and discovered only two sounds, "-ff" and "-(vowel)y," besides "h" itself that lend themselves to a proceeding "h" word, leaving approximately two formable English sentences that I will accept:

-"Bring that graph here."
and
-"Yay, it's a boy horse!"

I still don't know what ad hominem means, but I like to think we've made some solid ground on fostering a firm grip on our native language, and I intend to shower with acknowledgment those who use my certified language enhancers in my approximate presence. I bid you all adieu now.