Friday, September 2, 2011

Conor - My One Shot At Immortality

In relatively short time, I won't be here. Within a handful of decades, I'll return to the earth, from whence I came.
Mother Earth shall reclaim her child.

I recognize that there is no escaping this fate. Sooner or later all of us will heed death's call. So what do I do with my time on earth? Being a narcissist, it seems like the only sensible option would be to make sure that I am remembered. I am going to die and years from my death they will have remembered that I died and then decades and centuries will pass and still every now and then someone will bring up Conor James O'Brien, son of Dennis.

Why? Well that's the big hang up, here.

I would go with one of my usual talents, like being really funny and charming, or super great at music, or my slowly improving frisbee skills, or how much body my hair has, but it's become obvious to me that there's always some cooler than me. Thanks, Ben. So no matter how much I practice piano, smile winningly at the mirror or shampoo and condition, there's always going to be some smarmy asshole who tops me.

So what do I do? An event? Let's assume I want to be remembered for something positive, so let's count out martyrdom and the like. I could start a charity? Lame. Adopt an orphan and change a kids life for the better forever? Boooooo. I could grow the biggest beard ever? Just never shave ever again? Oh thanks, genetics/Dad.

It came to me in my Music History class. The oldest piece of music that music historians know they have  recreated with 100% accuracy was on a grave. Some smart old dead guy was like "before you bury me, throw that ditty I used to love so much on that pillar there. That would be sick."

Of course. My epitaph. Epitaphs are forever.

What should I put on my epitaph oh that's right screw originality let's just take that one guys idea and do it again. So I'm putting a piece of music on my gravestone. Hundreds, maybe thousands of years from now people will uncover and use it to represent an entire era of human life. They're going to say "this is what all people listened to back then. This was art."

Fuck yeah.


  1. I'm just building a statue of myself

  2. Andrew had the idea of putting a play button on his tombstone that, when hit, played the game over music from Super Mario World.