Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Ramblings with no prior thought. Read if you're bored.

If I were a boy for a week:

I would eat all the food. All of it. Overeating is not something I've ever had to worry about before but now that I don't have a gym to go to and it is perpetually snowing, I have to actually watch what I eat. And it effing blows.

I would masturbate so much. Dicks are weird and foreign to me and I think I might spend way more time than necessary just chillin with it out.

I would not wear a shirt when going to the corridor kitchen or at anytime in my room. I already usually take my shirt off in my room, but the freedom of being able to do that in front of people without being "that girl" would be lovely.

I would try to pick up a girl at a party. In general girls like to dress up to go out so people will hit on them but then they get super defensive whenever a guy talks to them and calls him a "creep" to her friends. It's really dumb but we all do it. I would like to see how that plays out from the other side.

I would play as many pick up games of any sport I could as possible. I played soccer for years and was really good at one time. For a girl that is. Then I would play with guys who never played on a real team and they would be just as good as me just because they were bigger and stronger and more naturally athletic. It's bullshit. Anyway, I would just relish in the fact that I could run fatser, kick harder, aim better, and be taller just by default.

I would be as loud and sarcastic as I wanted. Generally speaking, my kind of humor is more accepted on a guy than a girl. Sure some people will think you're a dick but most people will find it charming. On a girl a couple people find it charming, but most people just think you're a bitch.

I would try to get black out drunk. I have a tiny little girl body that does not like alcohol at all. I will throw up long before I get black out drunk. Now getting black out drunk doesn't sound that fun but it is something I have never and probably will never experience due to physical limitations so I would want to try it just once.

Things I would miss:

Boobs. Let's be honest, they're fun.

Spending little to no money on alcohol. People are much more generous toward girls when it comes to sharing alcohol, plus it does not take much for me to have a good night.

Having people hold doors for me and help with stuff like putting my bag in overhead compartments. These are things I could easily do myself but it's nice to be treated like a lady sometimes.

Wearing interesting clothes. Guys in general have very limited options on what they can wear and I think it would just get boring after awhile.

Dancing in clubs. A group of girls can go out and dance for fun with just each other as much as they want. If a group of guys did that it would be really weird. Like super weird.

People being impressed by my major. At this point in time very few math majors are girls and people find it interesting when I tell them that I am exception. There is nothing interesting about a guy math major. At all.

Getting hit on. Like I said, no matter how much girls complain about it, they love to get hit on. It boosts the ego and makes your night much more interesting. Obviously guys get hit on too sometimes, but I am under the impression that it is much less common.

I would be interested to hear what a guy would do if he were a girl. If any of you are uninspired this week (like I was), give us an insight.



  1. Thank you for testifying against your gender's stupid-as-fuck courting rituals.


    I want to do this thing but I'm certain it will be taken by Sunday.