Saturday, June 19, 2010

Conor - Cats


These things are crazy.

They operate differently than everything else. Not logic, not instinct, but a combination of the two. Whatever system they use to determine their actions, it's extremely interesting to me, and most other cat owners.

A note on cat owners: Cat owners are unreasonable when it comes to their cats. I am unreasonable. I had one cat, and I was really into it. I was able to forgive it for scarring me for the rest of my life because it was cute, and occasionally curled into a visually appealing ball. Then it died and later we got two new cats. Later, when one of these cats ran away, my mom got another cat within days that looked just like the cat that had escaped. The next day, that cat came back to the house and it was awkward. But I was okay with all of this. Because kittens.

I was at Petsmart a couple of weeks ago with a friend, staring at kittens. There was another lady in there, and I asked her if she was looking at adopting one of the cats. She said that she already had 5 and her boyfriend would kill her if she brought back another one. See, she has 5 cats. She's fucking crazy. She's what I'm afraid of being. She's what I'm afraid I've become. See, I have 3 cats, and I know if I had 4 cats I would be that guy. That crazy guy. But back when I had 2 cats, I probably would have said someone who had 3 cats was crazy. So I might already be there. Damnit.

Cats are interesting. Cats are the only creatures that can come up to you, unload large quantities of hair onto you, and make you like it. If I did that no one would like me. If I slept 16 hours a day or whatever, no one would like me, but some would maybe be impressed. I can't really fight my peers and get away with it. Wait. Here. We made a video about this.

Cats are the best. Cats are the worst. Anybody with a cat could go on for hours about their cat and why their cat is the best cat ever despite the fact that we know all cats are not created equal and Sebastian and Mr. B are waaaay better than Belle and whatever Mada calls her cat.

I guess that's what I have to say for now.

- Conor

1 comment:

  1. I think if you have one cat you're a total dick-tree. Go play with your fucking cats and stop posting shit-blogs all day dick-tree.


    -SCHRIBNIZZZ YEAH!

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