Monday, June 13, 2011

Nick - Oh, The Horror

Last week I gave you a short introduction to Pikmin. This week, I'm going to give you a short introduction to how my siblings and I are, together, an exceedingly efficient Pikmin-killing machine. First, an introduction to the players.

Nick - That's me! Good at Pikmin. Age 19.
Ben - Merciless, but still good at Pikmin. Age 16.
Sofia - Doesn't really understand how Pikmin works. Age 9.
Teddy -  Scared of every creature in Pikmin. Age 6.

Now, on to some of the most memorable ways to kill Pikmin.

Forgetting that Pikmin can't swim. (Sofia)

It's not unusual to accidentally let a Pikmin slip into the water and drown. Sofia, however, took this to a new level by forgetting that Pikmin can't swim and drowning a whole army. Enjoy the following 8 second video of Pikmin drowning to death. Oh god, the screams. Those screams will haunt me until my death.

Sacrificial bomb explosion. (Nick)

A yellow Pikmin holding a bomb rock.

Oftentimes in Pikmin, use of explosive devices is necessary to overcome obstacles. However, they can also be used as killing machines. I'm guilty of taking it one step further. If I can't be bothered to fight a creature, I'll have Pikmin pick up a bomb, and then just let the creature eat it. BOOM! Hilarity!

Vigilante Darwinism. (Ben)

If a Pikmin is weak enough to catch on fire, Ben lets it burn.
 Ben's Pikmin philosophy does not tolerate weakness. If a Pikmin steps out of line and into the water, Ben lets it drown. It didn't deserve to live. If a Pikmin steps too close to a sleeping beast and wakes it up, Ben leaves the poor thing to fight the beast by itself. A Pikmin doesn't come when Ben calls the group? That's too bad, it's getting left behind. Ben rules his Pikmin with an iron fist.

Captain Olimar slowly goes insane. (Teddy)

Teddy has found what is perhaps the most disturbing fate that can overcome the entire Pikmin population. The other day, while Teddy was playing, he informed me of something very unsettling.

"Captain Olimar is starting to think he's a Pikmin," he said.

Within the next couple of days, I watched as Teddy robbed Captain Olimar of his abilities, one by one. First, he lost his ability to throw Pikmin. Then to call them. Next, he lost the ability to command Pikmin at all. Finally, Olimar ran around all day vainly attempting to harvest nutrients for the Pikmin colony.

"He thinks he's a Pikmin now," Teddy said sadly, shaking his head.

Driven insane by his isolation on a foreign planet, Captain Olimar and the Pikmin population spiraled into decline due to their incapacitated and insane leader.



  1. Pikmin will be the second game I buy for my Gamecube. Thank you for helping me decide this.

  2. is it cool if i start coming over to hang with teddy instead of you sometimes? like, we'll still be friends. but just, teddy too. a little moreso, maybe.


  3. Ben Dietrich is cool. Someone should buy him a 12 string guitar.