Wednesday, February 16, 2011

What's there to say?

Hey, I need an idea to write about.

Come on, I'm completely uninspired, unmotivated, and oddly unpeeved at the moment, and I need to present something to you that you want to read. What's so hard? Just tell me something I need to have an opinion on. I will formulate an opinion and present it to you in the all-too-familiar systematic formula, with some vocabulary garnishing and some jokey comment sprinkles.

Having an idea is a fucking chore.

The responsibility of thought is one that is most frequently taken for granted. Every day I'm supposed to think of new things that no one has ever thought before and word them in ways no one has ever worded them before. Call this nonsensical whining, but that's so difficult.

I, right now, want to plateau. I don't need a breakthrough today, I'm doing just fine. I just want to sit back and entertain myself with Dragonball Z or Final Fantasy VII or Batman. Mind numbing shit that keeps a moderate smile on my face. But yet, that's not how life works. Regardless of how much I feel like I know journalism, I have to get up this morning and learn something new. As much as I don't care about Physics, I have to go learn how balls bounce for an hour and a half. Should I suck it up or do what I want?

These choices are hard to make without your parents in the picture. They answer for you: "Go do things" is the general motto of all parents ever. Unless of course that means "go do things that you want to do." It's more like "go do things that you need to do." And that makes sense. But it is tiring as hell doing that every day.

I mean, I don't know what to say you guys, I don't have meaningful thought in me today. Just not feeling it. I could sit here and write about how Final Fantasy VII is the greatest game of all time. I could write about how The Joker is the best villain of all time and would make Galactus poop his pants. I could do that, but I'd rather be doing something else. Like playing Final Fantasy or reading about The Joker. Today I don't feel like working. I don't feel like effort today.

Which means I don't really feel like talking today either. Maybe if I have something to talk about, but I don't feel like meeting a new friend today. I mean, there are days in which I'm ready to submit a first impression, and then there's days in which I could give two shits about the word outgoing. For instance, if today's blog is the first thing of mine that you've read, you probably think I suck. And as far as you know, I do. But, I just don't feel like gaining a reader today.

Small talk sucks.

It's all the same. Among friends, among strangers, among family, it doesn't make a difference. How's the weather, how's your day, how's the cat. Blah. I wish there was a better way to start conversation than by routinely discussing trivial crap that we know you're only saying to get somewhere else. A fascinating thing about college is the amount of necessary small talk. You know no one. You need to know someone. Conversate with them. What's there to say? I dunno, but it's warming up this week, and I know they care about the weather because they live in it. Sure! Look at the sun! Be my friend! Gosh, I just wish I could say interesting shit all the time, but it's soooo dammmmn harrrrrd.

What's the solution to this problem?

Well I don't know, and it's not my job to know. For to explain the solution here would be to make a point, and as I have stated previously, maybe I'm not feelin' a point. Is there something wrong with that? Should people be forced to progress themselves every day?

Hell, I don't know. And since I said hell let me insert this tangent here: sorry for cursing. You have to understand, I really don't mean it. When I say fuck, it isn't because I'm angry. I would say I am and am not a vulgar person. Is my vocabulary that of a vulgar person? Absolutely. But the connotations of anger and loss of control that come to your head when someone is enraged to the point of writing out the word "fuck" on the internet are where I dissociate myself from the term. Vulgar isn't just a swear word, it's a swear word and a punch to the wall. And you see, I'm not angry. Just in the mood to make a point.

Which brings me to my next paragraph (this is working out well) hypocrisy is disgusting. It's like the equivalent of a dirty mind. Despite the fact that we pretty much all have one, nobody wants to be the one to claim it. A lot of us are aware of the fact that we are hypocritical. The rest of us commit hypocritical acts without realizing it. When someone tells you you're a hypocrite, you feel like shit because they're right. But, I mean, everyone inherently sees themselves as the main character of life. When other people do things, it's subject to "the moral code." When you yourself do something, it is subject to emotional reason and alternate rationality. Hypocrisy is an epidemic. It takes more perspective than you or I have to act truly as how you would hold yourself to act were you yourself not yourself. So don't hate hypocrites. Doing so would be hypocritical.

I don't want to take up too much of your time today, because, well, I don't deserve much of any of it. So next time you talk to me, say interesting things. Also fuck hypocrites. Thanks for reading. Good day.

--Eliot Sill


  1. Later, I will realize exactly how whiny this post sounds and hate myself for it. I'm so tired.


  2. Number of times we haven't indulged in pointlessness this week: 1

  3. Which is the one? I guess Nick's?


  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. boom. finally made my own profile...

  6. three comments from three different forms of brian malone? fantastic.

  7. So obviously I'm behind on Classic Brian, BUT I agree with you on the small talk thing. My cousin visited from Germany and thought it was rude that people ask "how are you?" in passing because obviously they don't care that much. Makes sense.