Monday, April 4, 2011

Robert - Like Saturday, Like Sunday

That's a "like father, like son" joke, except with days of the week, like how Classic writes on Saturday and I do on Sunday. Ok, bad start. Also, what I write here will mostly apply to the people who know me. Another bad start. But remember how Classic stuck it to the man by throwing a finger to math, practical life decisions and his future when he switched his major to film studies?

I'm doing that. (I think.) I'm not positive yet, because I've only been bouncing the idea around my head and others' heads for about a week now, but fuuuuck journalisssmmm. It sucks. So far, journalism is reporting. It is going to crappy events, conducting interviews, shuffling facts, vacuuming out your soul through a pen, avoiding any kind of offense to all demographics both real and invented, editing, double editing, emails, triple editing, brutal hours, and frowns. I don't like it. I think I can safely assume it gets more enjoyable in the upper level classes, when I can actually get into investigatory journalism and magazine writing, but I don't know that that's enough for me. There's the fear that I'll dig through all the shit of college, get out, and be hammered by debt. My banks will cast me into a corner at gunpoint, where I'll begin my entry-level news reporting job at the local town gazette. From there my career spins off and sidetracks, and before I know it, I'm 46 years old with a wife and three kids, working at a dead-end job I will never love. Because there are very few jobs available in journalism these days, and there are very few journalism jobs I would actually love doing. And journalism is the idealistic, poverty-stricken major I boldly set out for with wide eyes last autumn.

So journalism is not idealistic enough for me. I won't settle until I've exchanged my impending lower-5-figure salary for a 4-figure. That's a joke. (I think.) Anyway, two weeks ago I had no intention of leaving journalism. One week ago, I gave myself a 10% chance of kissing it goodbye. After bringing it up and talking about it with some other people, I'm at around 51%. That's a fast change. And a big one, so I'm sticking with journalism at least until next year. I don't think I'll decide on anything until around the fall or spring semester. But there's still the chance I'll be deciding.

Creative writing. Oh my god.

What a stupid major. What a stupid, stupid major, but that's what I want to do. Journalism is a major where there are limited jobs. Creative writing is a major where there are literally 0 jobs. Okay, maybe like 10. A negligible amount. But that's what I want to do. I'm tired of pragmatics. I'm tired of planning and growing up and schedules and working hard for no return and emails. God I'm so tired of emails. I'm sick of holding off on doing what I love and replacing it with obligations. Are you really going to be an investigatory journalist for that major magazine or outlet and find or make the time on the side to write a novel? Are you really, Robert? Shit noooo. So I have a decision to make. 1) Poverty. Discontent. 2) Desperate poverty.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

8 comments:

  1. This was really depressing Rob

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  2. Do it Robert. It is better to be miserable pursuing something you love than just be okay doing something tolerable at best or miserable at worst. And there ARE jobs in creative writing, you just have to, you know, make them up yourself. Make yourself desirable to publishers by doing the best writing you can that no one else can provide. Think of all of the writers whose work you have ever looked at an thought is terrible. All you have to do is be better than them! (Think Twilight here. I may not have read any of your work other than this blog, but I am sure it can beat that.) Just have a back up plan to appease the doubting adults in your life (mine is being a Dr.). Just tell them that if you get to desperate you can do one of those programs where you teach abroad and then get certified to teach in the states (because other countries must have lower standards?). But that is only a back up, and I am sure you can actually achieve success as a creative writer.
    Good luck Robert.

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  3. Seriously though, do what you want to do. Money is great, but it can't buy you happiness. Besides, obviously you don't care about money that much since you started as a journalism major.

    I switched to Poly Sci because if I hadn't, I would have regretted it. I would have looked back and wondered how much more exciting my life would have been as a poly sci major. I haven't regretted it for a second.

    Think about it until you're absolutely sure. But if you decide you want to change majors, don't hesitate.

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  4. Robert, yeah man, stay in journalism. if you leave, i might leave, and that would ruin my dreams. so don't give up yet. p&$%y.

    -Eliot

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  5. I'll be proud of you no matter what, son.

    -Classic

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  6. Rob, I know it sucks. Everyone is tired of taking all these gen-eds and useless classes. I'm taking a class about weather. Who the fuck cares about weather besides Gus Gordon? Anyways, my sister hated Journalism in college, too. She HATED reporting. Hated it. So, after college, she got an internship at the associated press and got a job from that internship. She's an editor and she LOVES her job (and loves not reporting at all!). I don't know if that is what you want to do, but I know you don't have to do reporting if you don't want to. Whatever you do, I hope to God you stick with writing. You write better than anyone I've ever met. Honestly. It's a big decision to change your major, so give it a lot of thought. However, you can always change it back. Nothing in your life is decided yet. College is about finding who you are and deciding what you want to do. I just hope you can see some kind of light at the end of the tunnel from here. I really think that if you follow your heart and do what you love, you'll be happy, even if you're not rich. I mean, look at me. I'm a smart kid and I want to be a hair stylist. I know damn well I'm not going to make a whole lot of money, but I'm hoping that pursuing my dream and sacrificing a life full of money to blow will make me happy, at the very least. I think doing what you love will make you happy, too. I love you! Keep your head up.

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  7. Don't get delusional. There are so many people that go into "Creative Writing" and more useless majors of the like with the same attitude of doing what they love. You CANNOT realistically do this. Journalism is fine you don't have to love it just be good at it.
    -Paul

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