A Person Called Prace That Ain't Nothin to Fuck Wit'

(The following is an average interview with Prace, the rap prodigy from Springfield, IL)

Hello. How about you introduce yourself before we start.

Hi. It's your friendly neighborhood rapper (it's funny because Spider-Man and I both share a common first name with 595,181 in the US) here to spit some found knowledge on some real talk ish.

But Prace, what do you mean when you say that?

Well, for the past year or so I've been meticulously teaching myself the ways of the expressive nature of hip-hop. From the funky beginnings at block parties to the soulful samples of today, I've watched documentaries and read articles to understand how hip-hop's transformed itself from the styling art of the freestyle to the dos and don'ts of making a masterpiece studio album.

But Prace, Why?


Well, why not? If I want to be a rapper, I need to know how to actually be one. I can't wake up one day and simply say to myself, "I'm a rapper, today" because the truth is saying you're one doesn't mean you're one. And though my mediocre-unlistenable rapping will never amount to much, I'd rather culture myself to the point where at least I sound credible to those around me. If school has taught me one thing, it's that you can never learn too much. There isn't a single rapper that can truly tell themselves they've reached the peak of their potential without knowing it's a lie. There isn't even a single person that can say that (Sorry, Lebron...). So, I want people to know that I mean business even though I don't. Though, that's mainly because I'm not a business man, I'm a BUSINESS, MAN.

But Prace, how do you expect to do that?

Well first, I have to prove to myself that I'm actually a rapper. That means making the opposite of this. Don't get me wrong, I love that song, but godamn a playa can do better. Despite not taking myself too seriously, I know I have potential that far surpasses the likes of MackAssurance, The Cellar, etc. To me, that's the first step. How do you think horrible rappers like my boiz WAKA FLOCKA and OJ DA JUCIEMAN got famous? They believed in themselves and that's all it takes sometimes.

Do I believe in myself? Sometimes. There's those moments when I write what I think is an amazing verse and I'm like "PRACE, YOU GOT THIS HOMIE", and then there's moments when I'm like "PRACE, YOU HAVE NO FLOW AND BAD RHYMES". It's a struggle right now, but it aint hard to tell that I'll excel and then prevail.

Second, I have to finish my mixtape, A Racine Family Reunion. It's been in the making for over a year now, and every time I tell myself to start recording some tracks, I back off and tell myself I need better songs, lyric and beat-wise. The more songs the merrier, right? As of now, I have over 20 tracks planned, with beats as stolen as my style. Is 20 tracks going to happen? Never. Is this mixtape going to happen? LOLProllyNot, but wishing is better than giving up.

Third, I have to get signed to Rhymesayers Entertainment. Why Rhymesayers? because they like white guys. Hey, I'm white. Once this happens I'll positively be a rapper, and have cred with the hipsters and the hood rats.

Last, I'll start my own label and rule with an iron fist. I will let greed and money's evils seep through my bloodstream as I inject that shit straight through the vein. Then, I'll kill off my top artist, create a beef with another label, release his posthumous album, and roll in even more money. RAPPER LIFE COMPLETE.

But Prace, that's kind of fucked up?


Life is fucked up.

But Prace, what about the kids?

Oh, I got something exactly for the kids to sing, but then I'd be biting.

Thanks for your time, then. It was great talking to you, Prace.


Yeah, you too. SHOUT OUT TO MY BOIZ T-THOM AND B. CAV. I SEE YOU (HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHS)! SPRINGFIELD, 217 TILL I DIE! WELL, NOT REALLY! SHOUTOUT TO PTDS, DJ CUBAN M! I WOULDN'T BE ANYWHERE WITHOUT YA'LL! WE CAME FROM THE NEIGHBORHOODS OF SPRINGFIELD DOING ARE THANG UP N' DOWN THE STREETS! SHOUTOUT TO PWEEZY, BIG CHEEX, AND PAPA P! SHOUTS TO CLASSIC BRIAN! DEY BE BLOGGING! A RACINE FAMILY REUNION DROPPING...

Okay, buh-bye.


(End of interview)

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As an added bonus (and because I want to keep writing), I will provide reviews (sort of) to two classic hip-hop albums that I have been bumpin' an excessive amount recently and why they bump.

Would you fuck wit' them?

Wu-Tang Clan: Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)

Possibly the definitive album of what the Wu-Tang Clan represents, this album from easily the most well-known hip-hop collective comes heavy with the rhymes and light on the beats in what seems to be a perfect blend. The Wu never lose their character throughout the album, even when they stop to breath in their hilarious breaks between the rhymes. The Wu knows they can't be touched and songs like "C.R.E.A.M.", "Wu-Tang Ain't Nothin to Fuck Wit'", and "Bring Da Ruckus" successfully relay that mentality. The lyrics are hard hitting and aggressive, providing the listener with a look at the rough side of New York City. The beats are also exactly what you'd want from a group like this. Simple yet catchy with samples that make Kanye jealous. On that note, "Wu-Tang Ain't Nothin to Fuck Wit" has my favorite drums in a rap song ever.

My face is on there somewhere.

A Tribe Called Quest: Midnight Marauders

Yeah, yeah. A lot of people (critics) would tell you Low End Theory is the definition of ATCQ music, but fuck that. Midnight Marauders is the smoothest album my ears have ever had the joy of listening to. From the robot woman voice contributing random facts that are actually quite relative, to Q-tip and Phife Dawg's funky rhymes about all that's happening around them, the album is as conscious as it is chill. Tracks like "Award Tour" and "Electric Relaxation" are perfect examples of ATCQ's style and treat your eardrums to beats that are silkier than a kimono. Jazzy samples, hard drums, and catchy bass are reasons enough to listen to this album, but what Q-tip and Phife brought to hip-hop is something that won't ever be matched. Groove to it while cruising in your car late nights with the window's down. If you don't, you're a Sucka Nigga.

On a mostly related note, I had the opportunity (illegally) to see A Tribe Called Quest's new documentary. It's well-made and interesting, so make sure to see it when it comes out.

I like providing links.

Thanks, homies.

- Peter (Prace) Racine