Saturday, July 2, 2011


Imagine a perfect world. Just picture it in your head. Isn't that nice? It's a place where you never want for anything, where your every desire is at your fingertips. It's like having infinite wishes from a genie, but you cut out all the bullshit of a middleman screwing you over for fun. Now, before the cynics and realists jump in and say how the word "perfect" is ambiguous and means something different to everyone, thereby causing a paradoxical existence, I just have one thing to say; Shut up, please. Let's skip all that jazz about conflicting ideals and let's go back to that nice place we were at. Everyone has everything they could ever dream of, and for the sake of this utopian vision, somehow everyone coexists in complete harmony. What would your piece of the world look like? How would you shape your life?

I spend more time then I'd like to admit pondering what it would be like to accomplish my deepest desires with a mere thought. Let me give you a brief peek into my fantasies.

First things first; Classic Brian is now a master of all things musical. That's right. Not only can I masterfully play every instrument known to man, but I can also sing b-e-a-utifully and write kick-ass songs. I don't have to be the best, though. I just have to be amazingly talented.

In the batter's box; being fluent in every language. Some people might wish that everyone spoke the same language. Not me. That's no fun. I just want to know them all. It's sad to have to acknowledge that there are countless languages out there, and I'll never even be a master of the one I was born to.

From there it's pettier things. Of course no one would ever have to work again, so no one could ever use excuses like, "Sorry, I can't stay. I have work in the morning", or "Well, I really wish I could go to that music festival with the killer lineup with you, but I can't get off work. Besides, I couldn't afford it anyway". Enough of that garbage. No one would ever have to worry about money again. Don't worry about the how. Just know that it's a fact. In my world, you have virtually all the time in your life to dedicate to doing whatever it is you wanna do and just being happy. And on that note, to free up some more time in everyone's life (and by some more time, I mean about ~33%+ of an average person's life), sleep is now optional. There are no side effects to not sleeping. No one gets tired, but if you really enjoy sleeping, that door is always open. Imagine how much more fun can be achieved now that that's out of the way.

I have to admit that my greatest comfort in life at the moment is my room. Boy, do I love my room. In my new world, I wouldn't change all that much. The walls would be Gengar purple, because that's my favorite color, and if I got tired of that, I could just change it at will.  I'd have a huge TV, of course. All movies and games would be at my disposal. There would be ping-pong and a pool table and all that jazz. There'd be room to par-tay. It'd be awesome.

Anyway, I could go on forever. Trust me, I think of new things every day. But I live in the real world, and right now I'm going to Sno Bizz with some hoes. That's about as close as I'm gonna get to paradise, for now.


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