Wednesday, July 27, 2011

You Don't Need To Start And End With The Same Point I Guess.

Right now my job is extremely boring. Because of our new jean promotion my duties consist of (and are completely limited to) standing in the front room of our store, wearing the new, "redesigned" jeans, and handing customers promotional contest cards. Monotonous and unstimulating. The only thing that makes my five hour shifts bearable is the presence of other employees in my same position. I end up having really long, in-depth conversations with people I have little to no other connection to.
    Most recently I have been working with mostly people who have just graduated high school and are preparing to leave for college. They are all nervous and extremely excited for this new chapter in their life. In these conversations I all of the sudden find myself as the voice of wisdom and experience. I explain to them that college is awesome but it is never what you expect. You will not have the same experience as any one else and it migh suck at the beginning but you simply have to stick it out. It all sounds so mature and easy when I'm talking to them but as soon as the conversation is over all I can think is how I feel like I'm lying.
   I honestly can't wrap my head around the fact that I have already gone through a full year of college. I'm like super in college. No preface necessary, I am a college student. I haven't been in a high school class for over a year and living at home has become a temporary situation. I am nineteen years old. I've been able to rent porn for over a year. What?
   These are all true facts and yet it still feels to me like I graduated a month ago and I am leaving for college for the first time all over again. I still don't know what to expect and I definitely don't have my shit together. I'm still worried about how hard my college classes are going to be and whether or not I picked the right major. I still have no decent answer when people ask what I want to do with my math degree. I have no plan and I don't see that changing any time soon. I am a child. Why the hell do i think I can give advice to people?
   But then I guess the point of college is to delay adulthood. Four years in a Neverland of your choice so that you can put off real life for awhile. Four years to hope that the job market will improve and four years to try to experience everything all at once. I am not growing up, I am doing the complete opposite. I am old enough now that I finally get to live out the play pretends of my childhood. I am still the same child with the same silly desires, just a new playing field. Let's all stay in college forever, yeah?


  1. You and I both know that's a lie.