Saturday, October 29, 2011
Conor - A Terrible Price To Pay
Nobody knows exactly when it happened or why, but Cupid changed a while back.
For one, he grew a pretty great mustache. Everybody liked it! Everybody thought it was a good thing. He was golfing more often, so it made sense, sortof, so nobody thought anything of it.
Everyone started wondering when he got rid of his bow and arrow, though, and got a pistol. It performed the same function, it would still cause someone to fall in love when they were shot with it, and it was still pretty much entirely metaphorical, so they felt no pain, but it showed his new state of mind.
He no longer used love as a gift, but as a weapon. He recognized that the love his victims felt when first shot was wonderful, it was like flying. It was something indescribable. He was also aware that when this feeling went away, when the love ended, the memory did not fade.
So he would throw people into the jaws of love and laugh. "Yes, I've heard that some love is eternal, but the love between you and that girl over there in the corner throwing up probably won't be." He would keep track of their relationship, and revel in every broken heart icon he saw on facebook.
Sometimes though things went well. Sometimes they got married! Cupid didn't know how to react to this. He felt pride, he felt shame, sometimes he felt nothing at all. He often felt like he had nothing to do with the whole process. He didn't understand love at all, all things considered.
Sometimes he made people fall in love with abstract concepts.
Sometimes he made people fall in love with really literal concepts, like microwaves and lamps.
That shit was always funny.