Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Nick - The Misadventures Of Mitt Romney

The best costumes are ones that involve acting. That is why this year I dressed as Mitt Romney for Halloween. That and because I'm not black enough to dress as Herman Cain.

By "dressed," I of course mean that I put on a suit and used an excessive, disgusting amount of hair gel, because that is what Mitt Romney does. Then I proceeded to introduce myself to people and shake their hands, all presidential like, and drop subtle and annoying political references.

Really the only thing better than making a reference that somebody catches is making a reference that nobody catches. For example, when the subject of Native Americans came up, I put on my best Mitt Romney smile and laughed sociably, and then said, "We should ship them all back to Mexico," very politely, as if it's a completely reasonable thing to say.

I had many such moments this weekend, and the response was always the same. People would turn and look at me as if I was about to realize my mistake, and then they would nervously try to act like nothing had happened at all. I managed to make such tasteless statements on the subjects of race, homosexuality, religion, and various other topics, all without being called out / people realizing it was part of my costume.

Just imagine what I could have done if I were Herman Cain.