Friday, December 17, 2010

Conor - 2:41-3:15 AM

It's 2:41 right now, and I'm trying to capture a moment. It's technically Tuesday, December 14th, but it still feels like Monday because I haven't gone to sleep yet. I don't know where my roommate, Trent, is. I was just lying in bed, trying to fall asleep. I have a government final at 8:00 tomorrow/this morning. I'm waking up less than 4 hours from now, but right now I don't feel quite ready for sleep. I want to write this all down.

I was lying in bed, like I said, before I decided to right this. My alarm clock, currently displaying the time as 2:42, bathes the room in this bright blue light. Under normal circumstances this particular shade of blue would seem happy, but because it's the only light in the room it looks pretty sad. I like what it does to the room, how it makes the room feel. It's a pretty weak light. I turned on the reading lamp next to my bed to see if those two lights would do anything interesting when allowed to play together, but the harsh yellow light of the reading lamp completely drowns out the blue light. It's impossible to notice even a hint of blue, so I turned off my reading lamp. Normally I press the front display of my alarm clock up against my printer so it's light doesn't keep Trent awake or anything, but he's not here right now, so I'll let it make the room a little more melancholy. I like the blue more than I like the dark.

My alarm clock also doubles as an iPod dock, which I'm currently use to provide white noise. I wasn't really aware of how dependent I am on white noise to fall asleep to. I usually get back to the room after Trent, and he sleeps with a fan on, like I do back home. When his fan's on I can fall to sleep no problem, but when I was trying to fall asleep just a few minutes ago I just couldn't. It feels unnatural. I could go over there and turn his fan on, but that'd be pretty weird of me. I mean, he'd understand, and there obviously wouldn't be any problem with doing that I guess, but still. That's something I'm not going to do, for whatever reason.

Right now, at 2:50 according to my clock, 2:52 according to my laptop (It troubles me now that my alarm clock, which wakes me up in the morning and ensures that I get to places on time, is slow. I could turn around right now and fix that, but I totally won't), my iPod is shuffling my collection of Magnetic Fields songs. The Magnetic Fields make irresistible music to me. It's simultaneously simple and full of depth. The music is short and sweet. It's predictable. I know where it's going, and the familiarity is comforting, almost warm. The instrumentation of their songs are lush and pretty. There are like, 3 regular members of the Magnetic Fields, and 1 of those 3 peeps is a cello player. A solid investment. The lyrics are clever, witty, free of sentiment, dripping with irony and sarcasm. He delivers heartbreaking, endearing and honest lines with no emotion. Needless to say this music isn't helping me space out and fall to sleep, but this is what I want to be doing right now. The song Asleep & Dreaming played a few minutes ago. I love that song so much. It reminds me of last year.

I've got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. I have 2 finals, a piano jury, and an interview with the editor of the school newspaper, The OU Daily. I'm trying to write on the newspaper next semester. Watch out, friends with journalism majors. I've come to trivialize your college careers by casually doing what you're devoting the rest of your life to. I hope you're angry, just like I'm angry whenever you amateurs try to play music. It's interesting that whenever I post this, I will have done all of those things already. I will know their results, I'll know how that all played out. I'll be back home! Would you look at that. On a related subject, I don't feel like not at home right now, and it feels weird acknowledging that. Springfield is definitely still "home" in my mind though. It's not like that can really change in 4 or 5 months, or however long it's been.

It's 3:11 (my favorite band) right now, and this is where I am, and this is what I'm thinking about. This song is playing, and I'm going to try to go to sleep now. It's time.

I've gotten a lot of emails from our loyal fans, asking me to tell you all about my thought process at around 3 in morning. Here you are, you vultures. This is post is for you. I hope you're happy.


  1. interesting how you wrote this monday/tuesday

  2. also, your grammar at 3 in the morning rivals Mada at normal times