Wednesday, August 3, 2011

America — the land where, fuck it, let's eat candy

Patriotism. What a word. People will look down upon you if you deny it, but will roll their eyes at you if you bear it too proudly. You're supposed to appreciate America, but not be that ignorant asshole who doesn't see any value in the rest of the world. But you can be that asshole, or not give a damn about country. You know why? Because this is America.

Every once in a blue moon, like an internal heat wave, I will feel patriotism burn at my insides. The need to exercise my American rights just for the hell of it comes over me, and I go American all over someone's ass. But it will subside, and I'll grow tired soon, and wish I could legally buy a beer, then question whether this nation really is as much about freedom as Team America: World Police made it seem*.

America is said to be a melting pot, yada yada yada. But when you get to thinking about it, America is a giant salad, where different parts come together without melding to create a varying yet cohesive flavor. In the U.S. — and this thought too just hits me occasionally — you can be any kind of person you want to be.

In West Africa, it is hot. That's pretty much all it is. In Russia, it is cold. In America, you pick the damn weather. We have an entire array of climates to choose from, from tropical to near-arctic. You can also lead a third world life here if you want. Sure, everybody and their mom has a cell phone and computer, but you can really live a life where your top entertainment is cattle branding, if you so choose.

You want to be stupid as shit? America is the place for you! Waste your life buying and using drugs if you want. Watch pro wrestling! A sport that's main appeal is, essentially, "wouldn't it be crazy if people actually thought like this?" And what's better, is that you can actually think like that! You can LARP! How bullshit is that?

Now, I understand that America isn't the only country for such things, but it damn sure is a haven. You can grow up in America and believe the world runs on college football. Or that football is the No. 1 sport. Or that sports are the No. 1 thing. I guarantee more Americans have this mindset than any other country's people. America is the proprietor of white people problems. This isn't a joke; it is becoming harder and harder to fuck up in modern America. Everybody wins. Well, most do.

America is a mountain you can try to climb. There are hundreds of safety nets, and the whole mountain is made of chocolate. What gets you to the top is what you can sell to Americans to use for playtime. Cell phones, iPods, video games, food, purposeless cool shit, and most relevantly, money. Get Americans to buy and sell money and you are golden. But who needs to climb the entire mountain when they can get to a plateau and eat chocolate for the rest of their life? We're done building this country, now we just play in it.

This is the American problem. This is the American complacency.

Here, you don't have to actually be able to do anything except have money. If you have money, you can accomplish everything you need to. If I were to be stranded on a desert island, I would be able to recreate maybe 2% of my current lifestyle. I would also die. I don't feel like the only one.

--Eliot Sill

*-yeah, I know.

No comments:

Post a Comment